Planning a first date can be nerve racking. It’s natural to want a first date with someone to go as perfectly as possible. So, to get you started, here are some basics concepts to help you craft the perfect first date.
How to turn a first date into a true love
That’s all well and good, flirting with him didn’t go badly. But now it’s all about the whole thing – can we influence whether the spark really jumps over and if so, how does the date turn into the big love affair? We give tips!
- 1 First Date
- 2 How Does the First Date Turn Into a Great Love Affair?
- 3 Don’t be Afraid to Date.
- 4 No Matter What Happens Next: Enjoy Your Date
- 5 Speaking of “Ambience”
- 6 Date in a Café
- 7 The Best Start to a Date: Punctuality
- 8 The Balance Between Telling a Story and Having it Told
- 9 Your Phone is Still There After the Date
- 10 Show Your Zest for Life
- 11 Have Fun
- 12 It’s a First Date: Talk
- 13 See You Again?
- 14 The Tips For a Beautiful First Date at a Glance
Almost even more exciting than a first date is the follow-up, preferably with many glasses of red wine. Then you will be merrily dissected: How was he, what did he say – did you kiss (more than)? Until someone asks the question of all questions: “Will you see each other again? And you think, full of tickles in your stomach: Yes, that’s fine, but … WHAT if he doesn’t want to? Zack, Pandora’s box opens, and out crawls the nasty virus of great doubt. The symptoms: constant cell phone monitoring (is it accidentally switched to mute?), nervous hoping and inner apologizing (maybe he doesn’t call because he had to go on a business trip) …
The possible reasons why a first date is not followed by a second date are roughly in the six-figure range. Unfortunately, we rarely get the real reasons served on a silver platter. Instead, radio silence. A trend of our time, experts say: Never before have there been so many first dates, and never before have so many dates gone to waste. Thanks to online dating, your dream partner is only a mouse click away, and the competition is just a few clicks away. “In addition, singles today have much more relationship experience than in the past, and their checklist is correspondingly long. When it comes to choosing a partner, they are quickly sorted out,” explains American psychologist and author Rachel Greenwald
How Does the First Date Turn Into a Great Love Affair?
How do you manage to capture the big love beyond the first date? Or to put it in a more contemporary way: Your dating software is outdated and constantly hangs itself up when choosing a partner? No problem, time for a small update! Greenwald asked 1000 (!) men to find out how they manage to burn themselves into their flirt memory today – and which faux pas we should avoid to avoid ending up in the spam folder. The good news first: We can delete the usual assumptions about failed dates and why he doesn’t get back to us from his hard drive.
First of all, the ability to bond: He was not yet ready for a permanent relationship. If we like to tell ourselves that we are, but we almost never are. Nor that he was totally busy and that’s why he didn’t call. He was afraid of intimacy. A total classic of women – and usually wrong. He sensed I wasn’t as interested as he thought. Sure! So, naturally, he threw in the towel right then and there. A good argument for not feeling so bad.
Don’t be Afraid to Date.
After many messages and even telephone conversations you wish for the first date? Do you have the impression that your counterpart would also look forward to meeting you? Then ask for it, take the first step to be able to face each other.
Or were you asked? If you are curious, you should accept. It is still too early for you? In that case, don’t force yourself to date. But it is important to know that false shyness should not keep you from accepting a date. If you keep putting off the date, the other person will eventually feel stalled. It would be a pity if he were to turn to another, more quickly decided single person. So be brave enough to meet him.
A big advantage for both of you is that you get to know each other so early on. Is the first impression you make “live” in front of each other good? Should you deepen the contact further? Or do you feel it would be better to continue looking around?
No Matter What Happens Next: Enjoy Your Date
That happens: The omens were great. During the online dating you couldn’t tell enough about each other. The contact was lively, funny, charming. They were ravished. The new love seemed to have been found, the meeting just a waste of time.
But on a date, the spark simply can’t be ignited anymore. It’s nice. But that’s all it is. It’s just nice.
The conclusion remains that not every great flirt can turn into a partnership. Even if the first messages and phone calls in advance promised so much more.
Do not let this discourage you for further dates. On the contrary: Look forward to a little tingling and a nice afternoon or evening. Just enjoy the friendly conversation in a nice ambience, evaluate the new experience as positive. This is exactly what helps you to orientate yourself even better on the way to your new love.
Speaking of “Ambience”
Choose a nice, lively place for your first date. A walk, your favourite café or a cosy restaurant are ideal: you will find yourself in a dynamic yet quiet environment that encourages conversation. This is valuable if nothing else comes to mind. So that no unpleasant silence disturbs the good mood, you can pick up on something that is happening around you.
If the date turns out to be less promising, it is also easier to break up again.
Date in a Café
A relaxed atmosphere, a harmless ambience, and something tasty in your cup … The café is and remains the most popular meeting place for a first date.
The Best Start to a Date: Punctuality
As much as you like to treat yourself to the academic quarter on dates, please do not do so on a date. Don’t be late. This is not only the rule of politeness, you can also prove your reliability. So plan your route with as large a time window as possible for e.g. rush hour traffic and finding a parking space. In this way you are really protected against all eventualities that could cause you to arrive late.
The Balance Between Telling a Story and Having it Told
There are also moments on a date when silence is acceptable. And always in order to withdraw in favor of the other person and let him tell. Find the healthy mixture of self-confident telling and attentive listening. Respond to your counterpart, ask questions here and there. If your date is still a little insecure and restrained, pick him up a little with questions and light conversation. If you show interest and invite her to talk, the ice will quickly break.
Another great effect of keeping quiet: if you would like to meet again, you have enough new and interesting things to tell each other.
Your Phone is Still There After the Date
Of course it is nice when many friends value your company. Or you have a responsible job where your competence is really needed. There are certainly a lot of things to discuss and organize. For the sake of your date, however, all the callers have to stand back. Because as flattering as it is to be a desired person: it is and always will be rude to pull out a ringing and/or vibrating cell phone on a date. Your counterpart is only there because of you and wants to get to know this great person from the online dating site. That SHE/He also deserves your full attention is therefore natural.
Special (!) exceptions confirm the rule: If there are really urgent, unpredictable things in the house about which you should be informed, you may answer your mobile phone. It is very important to inform your date in advance that such a call might come. Unfortunately, it is simply too late to find out after the phone call.
Show Your Zest for Life
Love loves lightness. Therefore, in your conversation, dedicate yourself only to the beautiful sides of life. Tell cheerful stories about your job, leisure time, family or holid
Though this may seem obvious, it’s actually one of the more difficult things to achieve on a first date. The more fun you have, the more attractive you’ll seem to your date. The more fun your date has, the better your chances of a second date.
So, how do you plan your first date to increase the chances of having some fun?
When planning the date, consider including locations that you or your date are already familiar with.
Eat at a restaurant where you’re friends with some of the staff. Go to your date’s favorite bar. The less you and your date feel like fish out of water, the more fun you’ll have.
Also, try to design the date around activities that you both enjoy. If you like biking, then a bike ride is in order. If, inexplicably, you both enjoy hockey, try planning the date around a hockey game.
It’s a First Date: Talk
Getting to know someone better is sort of the point of a date. So, when planning a first date, make sure to include activities where conversation is possible.
Even better, see if you can include activities that force dynamic interaction between you and your date. Playing a game is a good example of this. When you play a game, you’re forced to interact with your opponent in a creative way.
If you’re going to go to a coffee shop, which is an easy first date, ask your date if she likes to play chess, or Uno, and bring along the game with you. Competing is a great way to get to know one another, and will provide plenty of opportunities for playful flirting.
But just remember, if you’re on a first date: Talk!
See You Again?
Your first date is over. May a second one follow? What do your feelings say? Was it a harmonious date that made you blossom? Or do you realize that another date would not make much sense? Talk about it openly. Of course it will take some effort if you don’t want to agree to a reunion. As unpleasant as a refusal is, it’s fair enough. In this way you avoid that the other person gets his hopes up, although he should rather continue to search.
On the other hand, would you be happy about a second date? Then don’t be shy, ask for it or agree to it. Take the next step towards the new love.
The Tips For a Beautiful First Date at a Glance
- do not be afraid of “live contact”, arrange a meeting early
- brake high expectations, just enjoy getting to know each other
- beautiful and lively ambience provides a relaxed atmosphere
- plan your journey generously to be sure to be on time
Five. First your date, then your phone. Really only pay attention to it in an emergency.
- show interest, invite your date with questions to tell.
- love is joy of life. Dedicate your topics of conversation only to the beautiful things.
- to be continued? Clarify whether and how you can continue.